Many people believe that long distance relationships are never going to work out. Your family may discourage it, and some of your best friends may advise you not to take it too seriously, in case you get your heart broken.
Nobody says it is going to be easy — the extra distance makes many things unachievable. Things could get complicated, and you could get sad and lonely at times.
However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest, being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long-distance relationship.
Long distance relationships may be tough but they have their own surprises too. To keep your love alive and strong,
Here are tips to make your long distance relationship work:
See it as an Opportunity
View it as a learning journey for both of you. See it as a test of your love for each other. As the Chinese saying goes, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, both of you will be bound together even stronger.
“I would rather be here, far from you, but feeling really close, rather than close to you but feeling really far away.”
Set Some Ground Rules to Manage Your Expectations
Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of each other during this long-distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise.
For instance, are you two exclusive? Is it alright for the other person to go on dates? What is your commitment level? It’s better to be open with each other about all these things.
Try to Communicate Regularly, and Creatively
Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its happenings, however mundane some of the things may seem.
To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.
Remind Yourself why you Trust Them
When you don’t see each other on the regular, it’s easy for your mind to run wild when you can’t reach them. “Any feelings of uncertainty can be magnified in a long-distance relationship because you can’t just ‘drop by,’” Doares says.
So, when you’re feeling super secure in your relationship, take some time to write down why your partner is so great and trustworthy. Then, read what you’ve written when you’re having a freakout.
Keep in mind: “Recognize your feelings [if you’re feeling insecure], but be aware that they are your perceptions, not necessarily the truth,” says Doares. Preach!
Talk Dirty with Each Other
Sexual tension is undoubtedly one of the most important things between couples. Sexual desire is like a glue that keeps both parties from drifting apart. Not only is sex a biological need, but it is also an emotional one as well.
Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts filled with sexual innuendos and provocative descriptions. Sexy puns work pretty well too.
Stay Honest with Each Other
Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. It is better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.
You need to be constantly injecting positive energy into the long distance relationship to keep it alive. Yes, the waiting can be painful and you can sometimes feel lonely but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet as heaven.
One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful that you have someone to love — someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things, like the hand-made letter that arrived safely in your mailbox the other day. Be thankful for each other’s health and safety.